God Squad! Hollywood & Divine

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In 2002, I wrote, produced and directed God Squad!, a comedy film which parodied Christian Films and 1970s Buddy Cop Films. It featured cult film actress and former Penthouse Pet of the Year (1993) Julie Strain as well as actor Al Israel who is famous for his roles in Scarface, Carlito’s Way and Body Double. After its premiere at the Academy Award accredited Los Angeles International Short Film Festival the film went on to screen at Tromadance 2003, the Backseat Film Festival and several other U.S. film festivals. This film is included in the European version of “The Best of Tromadance” DVD and had more than 1 million views on Undergroundfilm.com.

Hot Rod Condoms® w/ Speedstrip Applicator™

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I’m the founder and president of Hot Rod Condoms®, a U.S. condom brand which I launched in 1994 and which has since been distributed to all corners of the globe. In October 2002, Hot Rod Condoms® introduced the Speedstrip Applicator™ condom, the first condom with a built-in applicator to be marketed worldwide. The patented applicator facilitates putting a condom on quickly and easily. It was one of the first “novelty” condoms to meet U.S. Food and Drug Administration standards for disease prevention and contraception.

Savage Religion

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Singles; A Short Drive / Flown Too High

In 1989 I co-produced Switchblade Symphony’s very first studio recording for a compilation album on my own label. The LP featured 10 of the best industrial/goth bands based in San Francisco at the time. The song “Mine Eyes” was key to Switchblade Symphony being signed to Cleopatra Records. I had a knock down, drag out with my one-time partner and old “friend” from high school, who wound up ripping me off and stealing away with the recordings (no contract between friends, of course).

Undaunted, I formed an industrial band of my own. I moved into a roommate situation with the keyboard player in the Mission District, S.F. and set out to write and record an album of original songs. There were two local bands we were in direct competition with, trying to outdo each other with the darkest/strongest content. Lyrically (my lyrics) and musically we were soon kicking ass.

In early 1990, we released a demo version of an industrial song entitled “Septic Think Tank ” which was played in several well-known clubs and was in heavy rotation on college radio stations KUSF, KFJC, & KZSU in the San Francisco bay area. We wrote more than 3 dozen songs for our band “World of Hurt” in less than a year, we recorded demos and shopped them around but never got signed. Two songs were eventually done in the studio under a new name “Savage Religion” but disagreements about the direction of the band led to us throwing in the towel (Savage Religion singles are available on iTunes, Amazon and Spotify).

Here’s a sample of the type of lyrics I was writing for this band project. I’ve been working, on and off, on a film script using the songs as a guide for a story… sort of like a dark version of Tommy, by The Who.

KILL OR BE KILLED
(lyrics by JFKinyon)

VIOLENCE RULES THE WORLD
DON’T BE DECEIVED.
GIVE IT JUST AS FREELY
AS YOU HAVE RECEIVED.

IT IS BUT A CHOICE
OF WHOSE BLOOD IS SPILLED.
THE LAW OF NATURE
IS KILL OR BE KILLED.

DON’T DRAW BACK FROM
THE BEAST WITHIN.
SIT BACK ENJOY THE RIDE
AS HE TAKES YOU FOR A SPIN.

IN HIM ALL YOUR DREAMS
SHALL BE FULFILLED.
THE LAW OF NATURE
IS KILL OR BE KILLED.

THE TIME OF VENGEANCE
IS LONG PAST DUE.
DO UNTO OTHERS
AS THEY’VE DONE UNTO YOU.

IT IS BUT A CHOICE
OF WHOSE BLOOD IS SPILLED.
THE LAW OF NATURE
IS KILL OR BE KILLED.

RAPED OF INNOCENCE
AT YOUR REQUEST.
THE ERRORS OF YOUR WAY
ARE MADE MANIFEST.

LEFT TO YOUR DEVICES
JUMP AT ANY CHANCE.
TO REDEEM YOURSELF
TO TAKE A FINAL STANCE.

Wasteland Television

Wasteland TV

It’s 2014 and it’s been 25 years now since I was banned from cable access TV – I’ve uploaded my favorite segment from the first episode of Wasteland TV, “The House of Voodoo” (see below) it aired on Channel 6 in Palo Alto, CA in the summer of 1989.

viral video vhsIn the late 1980s I started making short sketch comedy videos which I put on VHS to hand out to friends and show at parties – a pre-internet viral video campaign. Later on, I compiled the skits and launched a cable access TV show – which quickly got me banned from cable access TV.

Palo Alto Cable Channel 6, a Public Access station in my hometown of Palo Alto, CA. aired the first episode with a disclaimer at the beginning. Other shows featuring nudity, gore and profanity aired regularly on the channel with no such scrutiny.

With two more 30 minute shows readied for broadcast, I arrived to submit them to the Program Director of the station who told me, “We’ll wait to see how these are received by the public before we accept any more.” I was dumbfounded.

This Public Access station was created as a condition of the cable company’s contract with the City of Palo Alto. Public Access stations are required to air any program produced by a local citizen. They don’t have the right to censor content or decide who gets on the air.

6 months went by and my shows weren’t aired. I kept being told that they couldn’t find room on the schedule but pointed out that they’d been rerunning programs to fill empty time slots on the station. Blank stares were all I got.

My show wasn’t advocating anything illegal or obscene – even if my show was something as repugnant as a KKK telethon they’d have to air it according to their own policies and legal obligations. Other Public Access stations in Mountain View and Cupertino aired my programs with no such problems.

My complaints in person and in writing to the station did not remedy the situation.

I have to conclude that I was singled out and censored because someone didn’t like my sense of humor.

Schoolbus Dave!

Cover of Issue 1

Cover of Issue 1 – Sept. 1985

Schoolbus Dave may or may not be based on someone I knew in high school. The poor guy had been hit by a school bus when he was a kid and every time he smoked pot he got an acute headache, which he associated with “good pot”; the more pain, the better the pot.  A friend (who wishes to remain anonymous) wrote lyrics for “Schoolbus Dave Blues” around the time we graduated. A couple years later I recorded the song, adding a couple verses of my own. While I was at it, I wrote and recorded 3 other songs… I had the idea of making a comic book to go along with the songs.

It took me a couple months to finish the comic. I printed up a few dozen of them and put them in the popular Comics & Comix store in Palo Alto. Each comic came with a cassette tape of songs. I sold about a dozen of them before the rest were lost in a fire inside the store. So ended the Schoobus Dave endeavor.

SCHOOLBUS DAVE BLUES

STOP! STOP! I CRIED
TO TEN TONS OF YELLOW STEEL.
WHICH SMACKED MY HEAD
BEFORE THE BRAKES SQUEALED.

LETS GET HIGH MAN
MY HEAD IS THE SPLITZ.
DOES IT HURT YOU TOO
WHEN YOU TAKE BONG HITS?

IT HURTS RIGHT HERE
I CAN FEEL THIS PAIN WAVE.
I GUESS THAT IT’S CLEAR
WHY I’M SCHOOLBUS DAVE.

DRIVING IN A STOLEN CAR
THRU A RED LIGHT WITH NO BRAKES.
I FLEW OUT THE DOOR AT IMPACT
AND AGAIN MY HEAD SCRAPES.

LETS GET HIGH MAN
CUZ I AIN’T HAD ENOUGH.
DON’T BELIEVE ME?
JUST CALL MY BLUFF.

I’LL SMOKE THIS STUFF
TO MY DEATHBED.
GIVE ME ANOTHER HIT
UPSIDE OF MY HEAD.

ETC. ETC.

My Early American & European History

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My 6th great-grandfather Enoch Kinyon and his son, Joshua Kinyon were officers in the American Revolution and commanded soldiers against the British in the Battle of Rhode Island and other conflicts.

When my grandfather passed away in 2005 I inherited his massive stamp collection and was surprised to find a complete family tree, genealogy charts and notes buried at the bottom of one of the boxes. I was amazed to find out how rich this history is and very confused as to why my grandfather never mentioned any of it to me. Over the past several years I’ve been researching and verifying the information I found. This research also got me interested in tracing my mother’s side of the family and I’ve discovered some interesting things there as well.

My direct ancestors in America were soldiers in the Revolutionary War, a member of the Boston Tea Party, famous politicians, educators and ministers, pioneers and early colonists – I’m directly descended from 6 Mayflower passengers. It was very overwhelming to take all of this in, being that I’m a huge history buff.

To discover that (among other notables) William the Conqueror is my 28th great-grandfather and Queen Matilda, the 1st Queen of England is my 26th great-grandmother, and that they’re directly descended from Charlemagne, Holy Roman Emperor, and King of the Franks, is kinda mind blowing. Seriously, King John is my 24th Great-Grandfather? The guy who signed the Magna Carta?

[click to read the histories]
[click to read the histories]